“You have compression fractures in four of your vertebrae,” was the final verdict delivered by an orthopedic specialist after viewing MRI images of my spine.
Finally! A concrete diagnosis after months of fruitless medical runaround to identify the cause of intense retching spasms in my back and abdomen that debilitated me. Even a nine-hour trip to the local emergency room, costing $2500, failed to reveal the source of my intense suffering.
Descent into the Flames of Hopelessness
However, the orthopedic doctor who diagnosed the fractures also suggested a more disturbing diagnosis – multiple myeloma, an ugly blood cancer with poor prognosis, which he believed to be the underlying cause of my fractured vertebrae. After a couple of lab tests showed no evidence of cancer, I refused his directive to get a bone scan, typically used to detect potential cancer metastasis (spread) for existing cancer diagnoses. I also refused a follow-up appointment with him and started searching for another orthopedic specialist.
Meanwhile, confined to a recliner chair, barely able to move with a walker, I struggled daily to survive. As a widow with no family living alone, even the most basic tasks, like using the bathroom, posed massive challenges. I became so weak that I couldn’t drive, tend to my cat, get mail, or pursue minimal household chores. It became necessary to hire (often unreliable) helpers to assist me with the tasks I could no longer perform. Each day, I never knew if I would have clean laundry or the strength to prepare a simple meal.
Like the mythical phoenix, the flames of hopelessness consumed me. Just months earlier, I thrived with vibrant energy. After hosting a very successful seminar on forgiveness, I received invitations to speak at various local community events. I even received accolades for an outstanding job reading at my church during a worship service. All this went up in smoke as I slightly strained my back, ironically at the end of a spiritual retreat about hope. Over the next couple of months, I deteriorated to serious state of disability, a condition I feared would be permanent.
Later, I learned the CT scan I received at the local hospital ER revealed one compression fracture in my spine, which the staff doctors failed to recognize. To make matters worse, two attendants abruptly yanked me off the CT scan table to make way for the next person in line. I screamed in pain and suffered unimaginable back spasms for hours afterwards. Sent home with medication to treat the wrong diagnosis, my condition worsened. A subsequent X-ray and MRI revealed a total of four compression fractures and two bruised vertebrae.
I also learned from a DEXA scan, that the underlying cause of my injuries was osteopenia, not cancer. Severe chronic stress, sloppy posture, past hormone treatment for infertility, periods of poor lifestyle habits, and a 100-pound weight loss also likely contributed to my condition. Fortunately, the accurate diagnoses of my pain served as a wakeup call before it was too late.
Healing Waters Quiet the Flames
Luckily, I found a caring chiropractor who offered hope and treated my compression fractures with a solidly researched but little-known non-invasive procedure, shock wave therapy and bone-building nutritional supplements to address osteopenia. Slowly, I began to improve. The chiropractor celebrated the day I was able to drive myself to his appointment. Soon after, my new orthopedic specialist wrote an order for physical therapy so I could regain strength and balance enough to walk unaided.
During this time of trial, my counselor and spiritual director walked with me faithfully during my descent into hopeless despair and rise back into hope and life. Several friends also provided weekly support through my journey. One friend gave me a vial of Holy water, which I kept near my recliner as a reminder of putting out the Phoenix flames.
Six months after my initial injury, I started a course of physical therapy to strengthen back muscles and a part-time job to pay medical bills and helper expenses. I focused on improving my posture as I improved my lifestyle and attitude. I gave up sugar, gluten, and alcohol (known to interfere with bone-building mechanisms) as I started a regimen of lean protein, collagen, bone-building exercises, positive imagery to promote healing, and faith practices to deepen my relationship with God.
Rising out of the Ashes
At this writing, I have begun the long journey of healing. Over the next year, hope will serve as my constant companion. Here are my steps to rising out of the ashes to be reborn, like the Phoenix, into a stronger, more resilient form of my past self.
- Offer gratitude to God and others for all my blessings, no matter how small.
- Allow myself time to grieve and feel distress over my losses, and let them go.
- Fill my heart with hope! Get rid of the toxic people and medical professionals who steal hope.
- Each day, take small steps toward building strength – even a few minutes of exercise on days when pain is intense.
- Nourish my body with life-giving foods and supplements.
- Help others in need – an excellent way to put things in perspective.
- Engage in creative pursuits (such as writing).
- Discern the meaning of my suffering, in this case, an invitation to change.
- Spend quality time with loving people who offer hope and support my journey.
TO BE CONTINUED!
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