Sneakers’ Insights on Living Stress Free

Unlike my canine colleagues, I have no stress. Why would any rational pet willingly submit to being trained? No self-respecting feline would ever play “fetch” or “beg” just to get a few treats. I train my owner (or my human as I call him) to give me treats. He also performs other tricks like buying dozens of different cat foods until I am satisfied with his choices.

My advice is to stop working so hard, be assertive and take control of your situation.  Here are my secrets for enjoying a stress-fee life.

PuSneakity’s Three Easy Steps to No Stress

  1. Just say “No!” Every time my human scolds me to get off the counter, stop climbing the sheer drapes or play nice with the other household pets, I simply say “No.” Actually, I don’t even bother saying “No.” I simply pay no mind to my human’s commands and proceed with my business.
  1. Tolerate no abuse from any human, canine, feline or rodent. If my human treats me with any disrespect, I scratch or bite him immediately to teach him manners. Same goes for unruly pets and mice.
  1. Play hard to get. There is no surer way to encourage your human shower you with loads of treats and affection. It’s just animal nature – we all like the challenge of pursuing what we can’t get. The more aloof I am, the more my owner wants to pet me. Of course, I give him a little taste of my affections . . . just  to dangle the carrot in front of him. But as soon as he gets too close, I’m more distant than ever.

Follow these three tips, and you will be in the stress-free zone in no time. Also, check out my the introduction to my book, Tails of Bad Habits. Meow . . . ooh my human just brought home several fancy shopping bags filled with designer clothes.  Time to indulge my curiosity.

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